I was raised in an African household, which meant that I never really grew up ‘on my own’. There was always an uncle who was supposedly visiting for a weekend but usually ended up staying for 3 months. There was also that aunty who always stopped by for lunch that seemed to possess a sixth sense for when food was served. Then there were the neighborhood kids who were always ‘just around’. Whose kids were they? No one really knew but y’all just played together. Yeah – I grew up constantly surrounded by people and this is the first time in my life (across three continents and six siblings) that I feel alone.
Lots of bloggers (including myself) are sharing tips on how to be more productive or how to make the most of this period of isolation but not much is being said about how to cope with feeling lonely. It’s important that we aren’t tone def to what is going on around us folks. There are many of us who live alone, many of us who don’t have family nearby, many of us who don’t really have friends that call to just ‘check in’.
So how do I deal with being lonely during this time?
1. I journal more. I write to myself. I write to my future daughters. I write about how I feel being lonely. I write about how bare and exposed it makes me feel. I write so that I don’t have to bottle up feelings, which are natural, yet shameful to admit. Shameful because I perceive myself to be strong and secure, yet this version of me is lonely and vulnerable. So I write. I journal until I leave my feelings on the page. I purge and then I move on.
2. I don’t feel guilty for not having anything to do. Being busy is such a trap and if one thing this period of social isolation has proven, it’s that we love being busy and are afraid of being still. And so I meditate. Daily. I center myself. I listen to my body. I learn how to calm my emotions. I learn to be still. I practice it with complete devotion. I still myself so that I can finally breathe.
3. I create more. I have turned to my creative side as an outlet for how I am feeling. When I feel lonely, I channel these feelings into passion projects. Not work. Projects that make me come alive. Projects that scare me – like launching my YouTube Channel! I throw myself into being a more creative version of myself and it’s not that I no longer feel lonely, I still do – sometimes. It’s that working on something that I’m passionate about allows me to value the work of my hands and heart, which always fills me with satisfaction and pride. Emotions that even loneliness cannot stand!
4. I remind myself that this too shall pass.
So folks, this is me – lonely, vulnerable, centered and creative. How are you tackling loneliness?
