Focus on being respected – not liked
I attended a conference about 8 years ago where the speaker uttered these words from the stage: focus on being respected, not liked. I wrote these words down on a post-it that I’ve had on my desk ever since. These words are a constant reminder of what is important: respect. Maybe it’s the #metoo climate but more than ever my tolerance for disrespect is at an all time low. I used to be that girl who liked being liked. You know her, she walks into a room, everyone knows her but really there isn’t much to say about her beyond, “she’s a really nice girl.” Listen, there is nothing wrong with that. You want to be the nice girl – go right ahead. However, for me, I wanted to be outstanding. I wanted to be respected – but that wasn’t the case. In all honesty, I would knowingly favor being liked over being respected. So when in a meeting and an opportunity to be more aggressive and step up for more responsibility over a coworker would come up, I would sit back and allow someone else to take the lead. I didn’t want to come off as overly ambitious as that was a character trait that wasn’t likable.
Headwrap: H & M, Sunglasses: Primark, Earrings: Forever 21, Sweater: Primark, Trousers: Primark (sold out) similar here, Purse: Nine West & Shoes: Charlotte Russe (sold out) similar here
This attitude cost me my voice the first couple of years at work. I remembered people saying, “I like Binja she is so friendly.” It never was, “I respect the work product that she creates.” I realized that I had become a really great coworker but an ineffective team member. It was then that I decided that I wanted people’s respect – not necessarily their likes. I reframed my mindset and decided that my focus would be on ensuring that how hard I worked and how ambitious I was were what I was known for. More recently I have worked with various clients and what I have come to realize is that when you deliver impeccable work, you garner the respect that you deserve. An unintended consequence for me was that the more I focused on delivering great product, the happier my clients were – and the more I was liked.
Moral of the story: do great work and the rest will follow …
